Valentine’s day depression

Well well well, it’s that time of the year when love in in the air and every street and corner is covered in fifty shades of red and pink.

Some people feel giddy with excitement and butterflies in their stomach. Others feel giddy with depression, have buckets ready, about to retch-up their last meal out the stomach. Too graphic! I know but yes that’s how I feel at least.

Jokes aside, single or not, people tend to fall into voids of depression this time around. Take a look at reasons why Valentine’s day might be a tough pill to swallow for many:

Why Valentine’s day is depressing

1. You are single.

Let’s state the obvious reason- you don’t have a lover at the moment and it really sucks to see everybody snogging and snuggling in every corner of hallway at school. Your co-workers are probably gushing about their significant other, flaunting bouquet of roses and chocolates while you are just stand there awkwardly.

It’s not like you are jealous, but you are still human. Most days its okay to be single, other days you are lonely but it’s still manageable. But then 14th Feb comes along, rubbing it in your nose and it becomes annoying and quiet honestly depressing. Valentine’s day for single folks feels like a celebration in which they are uninvited.

2. Peer pressure

Everybody your age might be getting into relationships or married but you probably have your reasons to be single. If you are a fairytale enthusiast or an ambitions lover, you might be anticipating your knight in shining armour or a damsel in distress to show up. The wait never seems to get over but you probably don’t mind waiting so long as you meet someone you truly like.

Sometimes the wait gets frustrating. As Valentine’s day passes by every year and it turns into a sour reminder that you haven’t found that special someone yet. While everybody is getting high on the love drug, you might feel a little left out, finding it difficult to relate with others.

3. You’re aromantic or ace

People have different love and attachment styles. Your idea of love can be very different from the crowd. Maybe you’re a rebel and not a big fan of people telling you how to love. You probably don’t want to be the sheep in the herd and might feel pressurised when you see everybody dancing to this flute of Valentine’s day.

You might be the dictionary definition of odd one out (hey! but you should love it, own it, be proud of it) and maybe sometimes you get overwhelmed by the naked display of love around you, given how much hyped the whole week leading upto the Valentine’s day is.

4. Break-up/Divorce

This is the worst one. For people who chose to be single by choice, more power to you but many others happen to be single as a courtesy of heartbreak. Valentine’s day, though not meaning to, brings out the painful sour memories of lost love, the aftertaste of bitter betrayal poisons the wholesome memories of past valentine’s days. Falling out of love and healing from betrayal of a loved one is tough to deal with, and V-day makes it tougher. It tend to elicit memories that could never be re-lived and ’never’ is a strong word especially in matters of love.

5. Unrequited love

Everyone has reasons to be single. It’s hurtful when it wasn’t for the lack of trying. Let me rip the bandage off, sometimes we don’t get someone to reciprocate our feelings. Rejections, unrequited love, getting friend zoned, crush crushing your heart are all the moments one never wants to be reminded of, but then comes 14th Feb and the loneliness sets in, plagued with the afterthoughts of what could have been.

6. It’s not financially feasible

Assigning one single day for celebration of love paves way to dig a hole in many pockets in the name of love. Valentine’s day is a business-facade used to promote over-commercialisation. Suddenly everything gets expensive, the prices hike during Valentine’s week could embarrass skyscrapers. Businesses are preying on love, to book profit and the lovestruck have to face the blunt of it. Who knew it was expensive to love? When you are broke and in love, the trends set by love enthusiasts could send you in a whirlpool of depression.

7. Pressure to out-perform yourself and your peers

With the added embellishment/punishment called Valentine’s week: ‘a week of increased depression’- the horrid trend that starts with rose day leading upto Valentine’s day, builds up a momentum and expectations to out-perform your previous self and your peers. Suddenly expressing love becomes a competition and you have to try your best to ‘up your game’ to keep your partner from getting disappointed.

Some people are born romantic and creative, others are simply not, and for those lot, Valentine’s day could be stressful. For people who suffer with the deadly combination of anxiety and perfectionism, this could be abundantly depressing.

8. It’s just not your thing

You maybe a romantic, single or committed and still hate Valentine’s day. Maybe you’ve grown out of it and might find it naive, childish and over-hyped. Lone wolfs, specially introverts like to keep low profile and often struggle to express their thoughts and emotions when put on spot. You may love love but probably don’t believe in it’s loud display. You’re more like someone who likes to love in silence and less of pomp-show. Some even get grossed out by PDA and would never indulge in same. Such people might feel out of place and out of their comfort zone, during this trend.

9. Long-distance relationship

Maybe you or your lover live continents apart and can’t make it. Maybe you’re stuck in lockdown and haven’t seen your lover face to face in a long time. Bless the technology and dearest FaceTime, but this time around you might really miss the warm embrace of your lover, especially when everyone else around you have their SO by their sides. Helplessness could be taking the best of you and pushing you to the sad labyrinth of depression.

10. Can’t express your love/Closed in closet

Maybe your are hiding inside a closet and too afraid to express your love in public. Being different and in minority is tough. Even though world is becoming more hospitable towards different sexual-orientations, it is still difficult to come out for most people. There is a fear of facing people’s prejudice and losing one’s face. So many people are still hiding inside the closet and smothering their love for someone, to steer clear of judgments and criticism.

11. You don’t love your partner

If ever you fall out of love, you’ll know it. There won’t be any doubt about it. It’s difficult to accept it sometimes, especially when kids are involved. In some cases people feel stuck in a relationship, it’s worse when your partner is not aware of your changed feelings. You’ll find yourself in a tug of war between whether to celebrate this day or not. You probably want to break it off but you don’t want to break your partner’s heart and hurt their feeling. So you may resort to feigning love where there is none, which can be very depressing and disrespectful to you and your partner.