Why are Decembers depressing?
The concept of New year blues or December dreads are revised by many people towards the end of each year. As the year comes to an end, the countdown for the new year begins and with each passing day, some people are crippled with anxiety. While most youngsters or party-lovers in general look forward to new year’s eve, there are people who find the countdown intolerable. As soon as December hits the calendar, December dread seeps in and overwhelm these people with New year blues. The culprit: impending December 31st, takes its sweet time to show up, while its anticipation puts some people into distress.
New year blues is the feeling of sadness that a person may have at the onset of new year. December dreads is the dreadful anticipation of New year throughout December.
Why some people dread December 31?
Apart from being the last day of the last month of the year, it has no special merits. Personally, I feel if the societal hype of the day could mellow down a few notch, it’ll help ease the unjust pressure on most awaited/dreaded day. Following could be the reasons why the last day is unsettling for some people.
The sour reminder
New beginnings are exciting. New resolutions fill one with optimism, positivity, hopefulness and expectations. But sadly, most people could never follow through their resolutions. The end of the year is yet another invite for the ‘new year, new me’ resolutions but the flashback of failed attempts leaves one with a sour aftertaste. It’s not easy to muster the strength to getup again after a fall.
The deadline
The self implemented deadlines are the byproduct of the societal hypes of New Year resolutions and plannings. Twelve months is a long time. Not everyday is productive. Weeks, months go by in getting hang of things and before you know it, it’s already July. Soon one begins thinking that half a year has already gone by and not much has happened in one’s favour. Sometimes when people are blanketed in depression, days and nights go by without them finding an ounce of motivation to do anything, which leads to more depression.
Most people do not like their jobs, but they become used to their monotonous routine and most times, have nothing new to show for their productivity, as a result they become victim of guilt. They often have no clue to where all their time went by. For a person who is already struggling within the haze of guilt with long episodes of non-productivity, the end of the year might feel like an unwanted yet inevitable tease. It sucks to think that a whole year passed by and not much has changed in one’s life, a thought not unfamiliar to many. The resolution trend puts a clock on the goals and with each tick of the clock, the deadline zooms in while guilt follows closely.
Time passing by
Sometimes it feels like time is passing by too quickly. You want to enjoy your life, live in the moment and all that jazz but you feel incapable to milk it enough. Perhaps, you are not necessarily dwelling within the spell of depression but your zeal for life gets the better of you. You want to live life a little more, louder, longer, better but somehow you find yourself racing against time. The disappointment of not living your life to the fullest might be masking the fundamental fear of death or old age.
Ageing is normal but most don’t want to taste it. Ageing, the inevitable companion of life, is often responsible to stir insecurity among people. Everyone will age that’s an undeniable truth but the hype culture has portrayed ageing in unflattering colours. In a society that thrives in cancel culture and worships youth, the fast flipping of calendar pages would put anyone in distress.
It’s all over the place
Regardless of how bad the prior year was or how unpromising the next year looks, New Year’s Eve is supposed to be about celebration, herd logic. But not everyone is a willing participant of loud display of celebratory emotions. For some it is just another day, others might like it and a few might be internally screaming but still jostle ahead with crowd enthu. There is a huge pressure of doing something special for the new year. For people who get uncomfortable with change or are not ready to bid farewell to the gone year, don’t. Technically it’s not possible to stay in the past year regardless you have no need to go out of your ways to celebrate, if you don’t feel like it.
Sometimes people are just confused by the group sentiment of extraordinary celebration and often get overwhelmed by the expectations of doing it right. One might prefer ditching the glamorous night and rather spend it alone at home or with a small group of friends, in their pjs whilst enjoying a bowl of instant ramen by themselves. No matter how much people dread new years, everyone eventually ends up making some goals and deadlines sooner or later. For people already bombarded by the guilt of failed prior year’s resolutions, it would be tough to partake in celebrations and feign interest for the sake of appearance and acceptance among peers.
How to cope up with New Year blues
It is immensely nerve-racking to be on the receiving end of this form of depression. While living amongst a population where some people still question the actuality of depression, don’t be surprised if people fail to believe that something as worshipped and hyped over- as the onset of a New year, can evoke unimaginable dread in more than a few people. The best part is – You don’t have to care! You don’t owe anyone anything, no explanation, no commitments. Following pointers might help boosting your mettle to face New Year:
1. Step out of denial
First and foremost, stop lying to yourself. You know yourself the best. If you are depressed, accept it, own it. You’ll get tired of pretending that it’s otherwise. Accepting and acknowledging the problem helps lift up the pressure of the situation, a little bit if not completely.
2. Keep expectations low
The bouts of depression are unpredictable. Usually, one cannot tell why and when, one could fall into the traps of depression. But fortunately, ones who are aware of new year’s dreads, know that it is an annual phenomenon and luckily for them, they know that Decembers are going to be tough. Being prepared will help soothe up the sting. Be mentally prepared that you are going to have a fairly decent eve and go through with it. When you curb down the expectations, the chances of being disappointed sink lower. In fact, you might surprise yourself by outdoing your already low expectations.
3. Time has no bias
You need to come in terms with time passing by. Time will go on, no one can stop it. But if it makes you feel any better: time is going on for everybody, you are not alone. Time is not moving faster for you and slower for others. If you are entering 2021, so is the rest of the world. If you are bound to turn 31 in 2021, so be it, everyone else will turn something in 2021 and everyone else will turn 31 eventually. If you get to enjoy being sixteen for 12 months in your lifetime, trust me everyone else will not enjoy being sixteen a day longer than you.
4. Be productive
The root of the dread is guilt. If you suffer from new year blues, most probably you have already tasted the guilt of being unproductive in the year gone by. The solution is simple, don’t give yourself reasons to feel guilty or unproductive. It’s easier said than done. Best approach would be:
- Set realistic goals. Don’t overestimate your limits and capabilities. Don’t resort to luck or waiting on one eventful day when things will magically turn out in your favour. Your goals must be practical and tangible.
- If you have a big goal, break it in phases. Divide the phases of your goal in spans of four months, doing so provides with a sense of order and it becomes easy to gauge your progress. Even if you end up completing only the first phase of your goal in twelve months, in the end you’d still have something to show for.
- Maintain a productivity journal. This is a personal favourite. Sometimes I set goals for myself and before I know it, It’s already August and I have no clue, where the 7 months have gone by. Keeping a journal to note down every goal-related thing you are doing everyday, will boost up your productivity. It would become a testimony about how you have been upto something and haven’t wasted all these months. It feels great to look back at your journal and caress through the pages filled with your hard-work.
- Avoid Hype. Especially during the months of December and January, limit your use of social media and avoid videos or content related to New Year or it’s resolutions. Comparison is a human tendency. With the onset of new year, you’ll be bombarded with content related to goals achieved by people in the prior year. You’ll see everyone’s vision board manifesting to physical reality while that might not be the case for you. The best way to deal with this situation is: first don’t get involved, second say ‘good for them, I’ll get mine in divine time’ and move on.
Lastly, if you suffer from this form of depression, know that you are not the only one who feels this way. If you catch yourself in a whirlpool of depressing thoughts around the year end, just keep one thing in mind: 31st December is inevitable to come, in your dreading of impending New Year, you are wasting away the fews days left of 2020.
